I need you to understand that I am not New Age at all, so if you come to me for a healing it will not be like going to a reiki or any western yoga session that you may have experienced before. In this post I will explain why.
I have been pushed by my guide (not from this realm), to start discussing my experiences and knowledge that I have gained over the last few years.
I rarely discuss these things and people know me to be just a bit of a clown. In all honesty I actually keep my very deep thoughts to myself because I prefer to have a good time and laugh at life. I find little point in discussing deep topics, especially when 99% of the time, I am misunderstood.
The experiences I have had since 2016 have given me an extremely deep understanding of the mechanics and aspects of life. I’ve gained a heightened level of perception through which I am often able to see things that others cannot. These could be things about themselves, their weaknesses, their strengths, fears, attachments, vulnerabilities, etc.
And because of my guides push, it’s time apparently that I actually start discussing these things instead of keeping them to myself.
I’m not just a medium/psychic, there is way more to it than that.
Mediums and psychics are those who can see, hear, feel or communicate with non-physical realms. This ability has recently awakened in me, but before this I need to explain the deep process I’ve gone through.
Many people do not understand where I come from when I talk. I may sound arrogant to some and to others I may sound like I’m full of it.
In order for you to understand where everything I say comes from, you need to understand the process I’ve gone through, and this is what I will try to explain here. Once I have explained this, then everything else I say will become easier to come to terms with.
Twin Flames
Twin Flames is a phenomenon that my partner and I came across in a very unexpected way. We had both heard about it but never took it seriously and still don’t to this day.
My partner became a disciple of a Tantric Swami when he was 23 years old, he did Tantric “sadhana” (spiritual practice) for years and went through his own awakening at the age of 27 in the year 2011.
According to people who know about the twin flame phenomenon, they say that twins are always connected and what happens to one will affect the other. It is said that one is usually more spiritually inclined than the other, however the spiritual evolution that one has will be passed down to the other, and in a way we could say that this is exactly our experience.
We both went through our own share of challenges. Him focused on his spiritual development by choice, and I going through life by being possessed and all the suffering that it brought me.
In the “about me” section I already described the sort of experiences we shared through the years once we became aware of our mutual existence and friends back in 2014.
We don’t like to take the twin flame subject seriously. What I will say about it though is that, to our surprise, we have found that the parallels between what is described by other twins and our experiences are 100% accurate.
My Story
Before I can tell you my story, first I need to clarify a few concepts. These concepts will explain why most people will not understand me even if they think they do.
When we hear a master or a sacred book talking about the nature of reality or the truth behind all truths, the ultimate truth, etc. There are three levels of “knowledge” or three levels of understanding that most people are not even aware of.
I will not go too deep into this because it would never end, but I will try to explain it in the most brief and basic way possible so I can get my point across.
Three levels of understanding
Intellectual understanding
This is the type of knowledge that happens when you read a sacred book, listen to a master, etc. You may think and feel like that information makes sense, it resonates with you, however you still have doubts about it. You process that information from your mind, and the mind can only perceive duality and polarity. Because of this dual perspective, you only have two choices: Believe in something (faith) or reject it (become skeptical). When you try to move beyond that duality you become an “open minded skeptic”. You want to believe that the message is true. This is like you wanting the reflection on the mirror to be you. It is similar to listening to a description of a landscape and wanting to believe that the description is accurate. In reality, you choose to believe or to reject, because you don’t really know. Most people are here.
Emotional Understanding
Once you have been able to transcend the intellectual level, you begin to feel a connection to the message. You begin to feel that message as part of you. You begin to feel an energy explosion and your emotions become heightened. You begin to understand that the message is real and true. You feel like you finally found the thread that you can pull. This level of understanding is completely different to the previous one. Limitations begin to disappear. You begin to get glimpses of unity between you and everything else around you. Divisions begin to disappear, your consciousness or awareness begins to expand, you begin to integrate all that you used to reject. You begin to experience great synchronicity around you and your life becomes exciting. You feel almost like you can fly. On this level you feel like you can actually see the landscape that was described. It’s as if you could see the picture of that landscape, it looks real, however it’s still artificial. Most people who follow a specific religion or “school of thought” get to this level. It’s easy to recognize them because they repeat like parrots whatever the scripture or master has said. This is the level of the preacher (sometimes fanatic).
Understanding from actual experience
This is the level from which true knowledge and wisdom comes from. Faith and beliefs are not necessary here, because you don’t need to convince yourself that the message is true. Now you have actually experienced it, you have become it. You stop identifying with the message because now you can recognize that you have become it. You have recognized your true core nature. It is ecstatic however there is no more euphoria. You experience bliss in its purest form at all times. This is where actual maturity comes from.
Everything becomes neutral, there is no positive or negative. You understand that you are the creator of the reflection in the mirror. Your attention is now on yourself and not the mirror. You fuse with nothingness and therefore you become everything. Now you are finally experiencing the landscape and you realize that it is way larger, vivid, and amazing than any scripture or words of a master could ever express. You realize that the landscape and you are one and the same.
The picture you saw in the previous state was a pale, vague and rusty representation of the actual landscape (you) and there are no words to describe it. The best way you can try to use to describe it will only sound similar to whatever a master, prophet or scripture has already said before. Now you fully understand the message. This is when the words “The Tao than can be put into words is not the real Tao” make full sense.
You have become the living message, you are everything and nothing at the same time. You can use your own words and not the words from other masters or scriptures. Before this everything was noise, but this is where you gain actual clarity. This is the level of a master.
Making the jump from one state to the other implies the destruction of the previous one which usually comes with an existential crisis where all your fears, rejections, repressions, trauma, attachments, etc. come to the surface. You will have to deal with all of them and integrate them in order to move to the next level. Otherwise making the jump to the next level is impossible. Many people don’t make the jump because as soon as they get close to making it, their whole reality begins to crumble, every belief that they held dear begins to not make sense anymore, even their own identity and identification with their own name begins to fade, and that can be scary. In order to make the jump from one level to the next one, EVERYTHING must crumble and no rock must be left un-turned. In order to find yourself, first you need to get lost.
So when I speak, I need you to understand that everything I say comes form the third level of understanding. It comes from having clarity. I have no doubts about what I say because I have experienced it first hand, and I do so every single day.
Only when someone is ready then the true authentic knowledge (the nature of reality) reveals itself to you. Only then it becomes your own experience. It stops being a belief, dogma, religion, faith, etc. and it becomes what it has always been: your true nature.
Going through an awakening
As I explained before, the third level of understanding can only happen by making the jump. And this jump is usually not something that you do voluntarily but something that happens to you. Like a plant that has grown enough to give fruit.
This jump can also be called an awakening of the soul. This is a very painful process where you have to leave behind everything that you thought you knew and realize that you don’t really know anything. Everything you thought you knew is, in reality, not true. You let go of everything that you have been taught since your childhood, every belief system, every interpretation of reality, etc. You may realize that you may have to let go of people and places too.
Many people like to believe that they have experienced an awakening when they have had some realizations about certain aspects of life. And although those are good and can bring clarity and make you feel some euphoria, those cannot be equated to an actual awakening. Most of the times what they consider an awakening is the process of jumping from the first level of understanding to the second one. They think they have now a clear vision because they can “see the landscape” but they are only seeing a picture of it, not experiencing it yet. Although they might think they are experiencing it but that is just self deception.
Many times they can either via a spiritual practice, study, channeling, a deep sexual/orgasmic experience or by the use of specific plants, have an experience of ecstasy that brings them to a new level of understanding. This state in Sanskrit is known as “samadhi” which could be translated as a state of bliss or ecstasy. However that state doesn’t last too long and usually fades in time; taking the person back to their usual dynamic, mental and emotional state.
When you actually go through an awakening, you get to that state of ecstasy but you don’t fall from it anymore. In Sanskrit is called “Mukti”.
Mukti is a state beyond labels and beyond death, where you find true freedom. In order to understand this, you need to understand that any label corresponds to a specific definition. When you try to define something you set boundaries on it, you set limitations; you say what it is and by exclusion what it is not.
However someone who has experienced an awakening cannot be defined, because his experience of life has no boundaries, therefore he/she cannot be labeled. You may use labels to refer to them, but those labels do not express what they truly are. Their nature goes beyond any labels. Many times people may try to label them and always fail.
People who have experienced Mukti will not make sense to people who haven’t, and may sound very contradictory in many ways. This is because their ideas and thought process don’t come from a sense of duality but unity. People who can’t see beyond duality and try to engage in conversation with someone who has awakened will interpret their vision as jumping from one extreme to the other in a very “convenient way” to win an argument… this is not the case.
People who have experienced Mukti can recognize others who have also experienced it. It is like a sort of magnetism that makes them recognize each other. However for people who have not experienced mukti, those who have will be “invisible” to them. They may also come across as arrogant and even labeled negatively because they talk with authority, and they don’t usually entertain vain or empty conversations. The same way as they reject things that are not useful for them or would waste their time. You will also find that they have a very good sense of humor and will laugh about things that many people wouldn’t find funny. This is because they can see the irony of life in situations that for many would be dramatic experiences.
What does it entail?
Someone who has experienced an awakening has actually experienced the death process in life. Most people will usually experience this in their last moments during their human experience, however only a few will experience it while they are still alive and strong enough to keep on living. This is the reason why someone who has awakened becomes fearless (not to be confused with reckless). Fear of the unknown is what keeps most people in place and frozen, surviving but not thriving; but that fear of the unknown usually relates to death. However when you have transcended your fear of death, then you truly start living and your energy expands across existence.
An actual awakening is a painful process where all beliefs are removed. When there is nothing left, what remains?
Is going through an awakening a matter of changing your beliefs?
Absolutely not.
Experiencing an awakening is not a process about “changing your beliefs” as many new agers like to preach. Although that can be a good and helpful practice for some, that is just the tip of the iceberg and won’t take you far. Changing your beliefs is like changing some shackles for newer shinier ones, it may make you feel different for a while, but sooner or later you’ll end up in the same place. In reality “positive beliefs” only disguise and hide negative ones.
This usually happens to people who are very religious. When they have a painful experience and feel let down by their religion then make the jump to science, or the opposite. People who think it’s all about changing beliefs are stuck in the first level of understanding, thinking that one belief is better than the other.
Focusing on “positive beliefs” or “changing your definitions” is as childish as closing your eyes, covering your ears and yelling “la la la la” because you don’t want to hear or see the truth. It will never be a solution. The real solution is to let go of all beliefs and definitions. You see, beliefs are like lenses or filters through which you look at reality. They give you a distorted vision of reality. Each belief will let you see things from a specific perspective, and although some beliefs may be nicer than others, they are still only allowing you to see things in that specific distorted and limited way; but that is not how reality works. It doesn’t matter if your new set of beliefs makes you feel good or not, any set of beliefs is limiting, even if you think it’s not.
Beliefs are not only about religion, politics, science, ideology, etc. They go down to the most minute detail of your life, like how you define reality, what is real and not to you, your perception of self, what kind of person you are, what you think you are and what you think you should be. These beliefs are usually buried deep down and have a lot to do with your own upbringing. Most people are totally unaware of these things and go through life like zombies. Not even knowing down to the root who they are, or even who they are not.
Reality can only be looked at when you remove all lenses, all filters, all limitations, all beliefs. Reality is, regardless of your interpretations.
In short, beliefs, no matter how positive or negative they may be, are just noise. It’s easy to fall for the trap of “changing your beliefs” to more “positive ones”. The reason why I say it is a trap is because I’ve known people who have been “changing their beliefs and definitions” for decades, jumping from one belief to an other thinking that they are actually evolving, when in reality they are like a mouse running inside a wheel. After decades of wasting their time doing the same thing they end up tired and in the same place where they started. They focused on changing their beliefs instead of dealing with their own issues. Changing your beliefs is like putting a band aid on an infected wound, it simply doesn’t work.
So in order to experience reality, what you need is not a set of beliefs or changing them constantly but clarity, and true clarity can only come when there are no filters, lenses or noise in the way of your perception.
Whenever I work with people, my whole focus is to bring them clarity which can be very confronting because reality goes beyond any belief system that you choose to follow.
An other misunderstanding that many people have about someone who has awakened is that they think that an awakened person shouldn’t feel negative emotions, that they are beyond emotions. This is also not true. An awakened person feels way more that an unawakened one; He/She experiences emotions fully, without filters or repressions. His/her emotions are so heightened and so much more profound than before. However the difference is that they don’t carry around those emotions, they are detached from them. In the sense that they will feel a specific emotion (anger, sadness, frustration, happiness, joy, etc.) in a specific moment, but once that moment is gone, the emotion is gone with it and they go back to being fully neutral. So they experience emotions way more profoundly, but they don’t drag it out.
By experiencing the awakening process, you are able to see clearly how all your beliefs, attachments, programmings, etc. begin to fall apart. This process brings you so much clarity about the mind and how it works. I may not be well versed in psychological theory or lingo, but I do understand how the mind works and this is where my knowledge of it comes from. It doesn’t come from reading or studying the subject but actually experiencing the “melting down of my whole mind” and how everything gets built in it.
Am I new age?
Absolutely not. In fact I reject new age altogether.
It is important to understand that everything I talk about has nothing to do with new age or “feel good” philosophies. It is actually the opposite of that. I don’t even talk about any religion although I respect all of them.
Many people like to think about what I’m saying in a “sunshine and rainbows” sort of way which couldn’t be farther from the truth.
My partners master used to tell him that following the Shaivism way is for the bravest of all, and you would be lucky to find 1 person in every 1000 that would choose this path. A lot of people will say that they are interested, but only a few will actually do it, and out of those, only the very few will go through the whole thing.
Even after years of my partners sadhana and being recognized by his master as one, he doesn’t consider himself a “shaiva” or a Shiva devotee, even though he has much affinity to it due to the fact that his “schooling” came from those roots. In other words, although we have much respect towards Shaivism, he is not attached to it and neither am I.
My partner says in a joking way that the ones who take this path and actually get far, are usually the ones with masochistic tendencies. He says this because people who choose this path don’t run from pain, but actually run towards it.
At first it didn’t make sense to me until I understood that the fastest way to awaken is to face your demons and fears as head on and quickly as possible, with no “feel good” philosophies, no nice words, no expectations, only true direct and raw action.
So when people talk to me about “self empowerment” or “developing self esteem” to me sounds like child’s play. I don’t say this to sound arrogant. The reason for this is that people who focus on “self esteem” and “self empowerment”, I’ve found that they do it because deep down that’s what they lack. If they didn’t have that lack, they wouldn’t need to focus so much on that.
A person with integrity forgets that there is such thing as integrity, he just is. Same as someone who is honest, they don’t need to think about being honest, they just are; they don’t need any constant reminder to “be honest”. If they need constant reminders, it only means that they aren’t what they preach. When the footwear is comfortable you forget about the feet.
This is why sometimes I may come across as arrogant when I get invited to events about “self love”, “self esteem”, “self empowerment”, etc. Because to me all of that is a waste of time. If you want to feel better and grow, don’t tell yourself comfortable lies, or “feel good” nice words. Instead deal with your issues head on, don’t run from them, don’t hide from them, face them one by one. Question everything, admit that you don’t know the answers to almost anything, and start from there.
One of the main issues I have with new agers is that they only focus on things that make them “feel good” and they even use some flamboyant terms like “staying in your vortex”, etc.
All I can say about that is that if you want to grow you have to get out of your comfort zone, and if all you care about is “feeling good” then you are not challenging yourself, and therefore you are not growing. If that’s what you prefer, good for you, it’s not my place to judge, however I’ll say that you shouldn’t deceive yourself thinking that by “rejecting negativity” you are growing because you are not. Only through challenges we grow, and growth is never comfortable.
About darkness
Before I talk about darkness I need to explain the nature of “the occult” or esoteric knowledge
Occult knowledge is not something that can be taught, or that can be studied in books, even if there are many books written about it or people claiming to be able to teach you. No book can give you access to this knowledge and no teacher can give you access either.
Any book or teacher will only bring you to the first level of understanding. Only when you are truly ready the occult will reveal itself to you. You will only be ready for it once you have removed all the baggage that clouds your vision.
It’s not about “wanting to know” but about understanding that everything that is considered “occult” or hidden, already exists here and now, and when you are fully focused on the here and now, then the occult reveals itself to you. You will be able to perceive it and with practice have access to it.
Everything is neutral, there is no such thing as “positive” or “negative”, everything just is. However if you wish to use those labels, we can say that what we refer to as “negative” could be expressed as in “lower energy” or “darkness” and what we refer to as “positive” could be expressed as “higher energy” or “light”.
But in the end its all the same energy expressed in different ways. And you can only find your true light if you go deep into the dark, otherwise you won’t know where your light begins and where it ends. The lower a type of energy becomes, the more fragmentation it creates and the less light it can contain, the higher it goes the more unity or integration it creates and the more light it can contain.
Many people think that my work is “dark” due to the fact that I deal with entities from other planes of existence. The truth is that the “wider” your awareness becomes, the more you can perceive. There is no such thing as darkness, there is only the absence of light. You do not destroy darkness, you just bring light to it, and then it disappears.
I find it funny that many new agers like to call themselves “light workers” or “warriors of light” and yet they are afraid of darkness. A true “light warrior” by definition wouldn’t be afraid of the dark, instead he/she would be excited to go deep into it and transform that darkness into light. This is the true process of alchemy, transforming poison into medicine. Turning dirt into gold.
There are “places”, “realms”, or “frequencies” darker than others, which means that they have less light than others. In those places there are beings, entities or however you want to call them that have adapted to live and thrive there. Many times those realms overlap with ours, and those entities feed off our own darkness (fears, anger, trauma, repressions, rejections, etc.). There are areas and even dates that have a big concentration of “negative” energy, usually those areas or dates are related to great suffering. Which makes these beings manifest more easily.
Although this is not always the case, many times what we perceive as “demons” are nothing more than “sick” entities or individuals who have lost their way. If there is a sick individual seeking your help and you are truly compassionate, you will not reject him.
This work takes compassion to a whole new level and puts it to the test. Because it is impossible to do this work without compassion. You cannot be a compassionate person if you are only compassionate towards the people you love, that’s only convenience. True compassion is towards every single being from every single realm. There is no half way here, you either are compassionate or you are not.
However this is not to be mistaken with being naive, you have to be aware of the dangers and know how to deal with them. Like a martial artist or a soldier can be compassionate towards everyone but if threatened can be lethal.
As I explained in the “about me” section, I can talk about the teachings my partner received and the lessons and realizations we have experienced, but I cannot give you the actual teachings because those are considered sacred and are only passed down to those that have actually demonstrated that they are willing to invest their time and energy with all seriousness into it.
Casual practitioners will do well by going to yoga workshops to learn to relax, or taking knitting classes or any other hobby, and not entertain their minds with “the occult”.
My Services
How and why am I able to help others with their issues?
Because of the extremely deep and painful process I went through prior and during my awakening, I was able to see and understand the mechanics of how life works. The full energetic connection between Body-Mind-Emotions-Spirit. And by understanding how each part of the whole process works, if there is anything causing a “block” in any of those parts, I can actually manipulate, or tweak certain aspects of the process and help it to flow again.
I am able to see peoples minds, their projections, fears, energies, etc.
That being said, as I have explained before, my approach is unfiltered and fully honest. That means that even though I will do my work with much care, I will tell you what I see the way I see it, regardless of it potentially being offensive. I am not here to tell you comfortable lies, half truths, or “feel good” deception.
My words are not meant to harm anyone however when we talk about the need for healing, blunt and raw honesty is needed so people can face whatever they need to face.
Sometimes people feel offended by my raw honesty and think that I’m not compassionate. However I ask you, what is more compassionate? Telling you lies that keep you shackled, or telling you harsh truths to help you heal and free yourself?
My pressence can become uncomfortable to some people
My presence can become confronting sometimes, because someone who has awakened, even without speaking, emits a certain frequency that makes others start to raise their vibration (in Sanskrit known as Sastang). Sastang is a phenomena when the mere pressence of someone with a “higher frequency” makes the frequency of others rise. Like a candle that passes its flame to others.
If the person close to you is not ready for it, it can become extremely confronting. I’ve had people thinking that I may be doing something negative to them because they begin to feel discomfort in my presence, when in reality I’m not doing anything. My mere presence can have that effect.
Its like having a jar full of water with sugar at the bottom. My presence will have the same effect of a stirring spoon that will make that sugar rise. That “sugar” is usually all the pain, misery, attachments, guilt, etc. being stirred up and brought up to the surface. This is not a bad thing, this helps you deal with what you need to deal with, however, if you aren’t ready for it, it can be too confronting. Most people who aren’t ready for it get scared and run away.
Does this mean that I never fail?
Usually I’m able to get a very accurate assessment of the issue any client is having. However I cannot just get in there and disrupt their life process if they don’t allow it. Sometimes they may think that they are allowing it, but they really aren’t. I’ve come across people that are identified so much with their illness that even their whole persona revolves around it. Their sickness has become a crutch to their personality, and If I try to help them remove it, that individual will lose their sense of identity and therefore in a very subconscious level, they won’t really allow me to help them heal. Again, beliefs can go very deep.
How can I be sure that what I see is real?
I always keep a healthy skepticism about what I see regarding an individual. Many times I used to wonder if what I was seeing was something that I was imagining or if it was something that I was being shown, specially when I was seeing things that looked outlandish.
With practice I’ve come to realize that most of the times I’m shown things, I’m not imagining them, although I always ask questions and try to get confirmation, just to be sure I’m on the right track. With experience I’ve found that the more outlandish the things I see look, the more accurate they usually are.
Conclusion
Thank you for taking your time to read this. Everything I covered here is just the tip of the iceberg.
I hope that this information wasn’t too shocking and that it helps you to understand more of who I am, where I’m coming from, what I do and what you can expect.